The Invasion
by A Pirate By Any Other Name
Summary: Because even the T.A.R.D.I.S. gets spiders... Spiders appear all over the T.A.R.D.I.S.'s control room, and Donna puts her foot down. Literally. AU, Season 4.


**DISCLAIMER:** Doctor Who belongs to BBC, RTD, Steven Moffat and other such geniuses. This fanfiction was written purely my enjoyment and yours. No money is being made from this story.

**Author Note:** So it's Autumn and as usual my house has become overrun with Wolf Spiders. And when I say overrun, I really mean it. I swear the first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and kill a spider…and then I walk out in the kitchen and see at least three more dead spiders someone has killed in the night. And sorry to all you spider lovers, but my rule is: If it's in the house, it's dead. My house (and especially my room) is off limits to spiders, thank you very much.

Naturally, my writer's brain can't just ignore such juicy material lying around, and I started thinking about the Doctor and Donna, and then this little story was born. Hope you all enjoy!

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**The Invasion**

The Doctor was browsing the T.A.R.D.I.S. library when the scream rang out.

Immediately he dropped the stack of books he was balancing on one arm, pulled off his glasses and ran for the door. "Donna!" he cried, wondering what could have possibly made her scream. "Donna, what is it? Donna?" She didn't answer.

The Doctor ran his hands through his hair and quickened his pace. His thoughts streamed through his head a mile a minute as he ran through the possible scenarios. _What could have happened? We haven't visited any malicious planets lately and the nothing can get in…the TARDIS wouldn't let any creatures just hide inside, I'd know about it_. He strained his ears and listened for any more screams. "Donna?" he called again. There was still no answer.

He wracked his brain as he ran. _What makes human women scream? Maybe she found my collection of shrunken heads from…but no, I traded those…my ant farm! Maybe she found that. Human women aren't fond of bugs, that has to be it._ The Doctor allowed himself to smile_. Poor Donna, afraid of a few little bugs._ Mind you, they weren't Earth ants, so they were considerably bigger, about the size of mice. Another idea popped into his brain. _Maybe Donna saw a mouse! Human women don't like mice, if I recall. Maybe the mice finally found my jelly baby stash._ He faltered. _Maybe __**Donna**__ found my jelly baby stash. _He ran a little faster.

Suddenly the sound of frantic stomping came from inside the control room, followed by a gasp. "Donna!" the Doctor cried and flew into the room. He skidded to a halt beside the console, narrowly avoiding getting his foot stomped on by Donna.

"Oi! Move it Spaceman!" she said, her eyes scanning the floor beside their feet. An expression of fierce determination on was on her face. "It's getting away!" she cried. She pushed past the Doctor and slammed her booted foot down beside the console. "Gotcha!" she cried triumphantly.

The Doctor looked at her in confusion and then surprise when she lifted her boot to reveal a _very_ squished spider. "What?" His eyes widened in horror. He looked over at Donna. "What?"

Donna smiled wryly at the Doctor. "Never mind it, Doctor. I can handle it—" She broke off and gasped. "Another one!" She darted forward before the Doctor could stop her and brought her foot crashing down.

"No!" shouted the Doctor, but it was too late. Down came Donna's foot and swiftly ended the spider's life. _It was just a little spider Donna…_

Donna spun around to face the Doctor. "That is the _eighth_ spider I've had to kill today, Doctor. The _eighth_! Now answer me this, buddy." She pointed a finger at him accusingly. Tell me how can a _spaceship_ be invaded by spiders? _In space_?"

The Doctor was still gazing at her in horror. "You killed eight spiders? In here?" He gestured wildly around the room. "On my ship?" _What kind of violence is this?_

"Yes," Donna said impatiently. "No thanks to you. I can't even sit down to enjoy my cup of tea without one of those little buggers crawling over my toes. It's an invasion, Doctor! But I think I've got it under control." She took this moment to scan the room, paying particular attention to the dark corners. She snorted. "And I thought it was bad on Earth. Who knew you could get spiders in space!"

The Doctor ran both hands through his hair, making it stand up even more than usual. _There was murder, right here in my control room._ "You mean actually _killed_ spiders in my T.A.R.D.I.S.?" Donna stopped in surprise at his accusatory tone.

"Hey! I didn't see you being so lenient with that red spider woman on my wedding day!"

The Doctor sputtered. "That was different. She was going to take over Earth and devour the human race!"

"She was still a spider," Donna argued. "Of sorts."

"But these are defenseless little creatures! The Doctor argued. "They're harmless."

Donna looked affronted. "Harmless? I nearly a heart attack when that thing crawled over my foot! Call that harmless?"

"Well, you wouldn't have _really_ had a heart attack," the Doctor said shrugging.

Donna's eyes narrowed. "Oh really? Do you know that for sure?" She gave him a look.

The Doctor fidgeted under her gaze. "Well," he started. Donna's gaze intensified. "Maybe not." He leaned against the console. "But they're still just little—" He broke off his sentence with a yelp and looked down to see a spider half the size of his hand scurry over his fingers and up on the controls. "Donna, hand me that hammer." His eyes never left the beast.

Donna came over, curious. "What is it?"

"Shh! He'll hear you!" the Doctor said urgently. "Just hand me the hammer, nice and slow."

Donna's eyes flicked over to where the monstrous beast was currently hiding and her eyes widened. Carefully she handed him the hammer, and movement caught her eye behind the Doctor. As she handed over the hammer she said calmly, "Don't freak out, Doctor, but there are three more behind you."

He jumped a bit in surprise and flicked his eyes over his shoulder. _Okay, forget the harmless part. Clearly these things are monstrous. And how did they even get in here?_ "I'll take this one," he whispered dramatically. "You take the rear." Donna nodded and crept past him, her eyes on the biggest of the offending creatures on the floor. "On three," he said. "One, two…three!" Together the sprung forward, hammers and boots swinging. After some frantic thumping, the spiders were vanquished.

"Okay," said the Doctor in a slightly breathless voice. "I may have underestimated you when you said invasion."

"Darn right," said Donna, her eyes sweeping the room. "Now what are we going to do about it?"

"Well," said the Doctor, tugging on his ear. He chuckled a bit. "Now would be a good time for a little _exterminating_!"

"I'll say," Donna agreed. The Doctor smiled, knowing she hadn't really got the joke, but loving her for it anyway. Donna frowned and thought for a moment. She gave the Doctor a questioning look. "If you're so against killing them, why don't we stop at a planet and dump them out? You could use your sonic thingy to scare them out."

The Doctor visibly brightened at this. "Oh Donna, you are brilliant!" he cried. He jumped up and started flipping switches and turning knobs of the console, only yelping a little bit when another spider crawled out from under one of the buttons. Donna dispatched it quickly. _Right. What would I do without you, Donna?_ He beamed at her. "I know just the place to go," he said, eyes gleaming with the excitement of a new adventure.

Donna smiled. "Good. But just so you know, I will be squashing any stragglers." She cast a wary eye around the control room, as if to warn any spider hiding nearby.

The Doctor laughed. "There'll be no need, Donna! Now hold on tight! Allon-sy!" He pulled down a large lever on his right and the T.A.R.D.I.S. took off with a shudder, which unfortunately rained down quite a few more spiders, which Donna took care over with a few choice words and some furious stomping.

And the Doctor just smiled.

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**Author's Note (2): **I'm not entirely happy with how this turned out, so let me know what you think! I really appreciate reviews. Also, just so you all know, halfway through writing this I saw some movement out of the corner of my eye, so I looked over to the corner of the room and what do you think I saw _lurking_ there? That's right. A spider. Because although this is just fiction, there is an _actual invasion _of spider happening at my house right now.


End file.
